Bummer bummer bummer

Well. I am writing courtesy of the fine wifi here at the...hospital. Yep-started bleeding again sunday night; with all my powers of denial I hoped it would just go away, but it didn't. Saw the dr. Monday and she did a quick ultrasound. Determined there was nothing much holding this baby in there, and said "Right. I don't want you delivering the baby in the canyon, and right now that is a distinct possibility. So- we're admitting you RIGHT NOW." So here we are, in this swanky hotel room with lovely views, fabulous room service, a fridge, plus things that tie you to the bed so you can't move. Kinky? Nope-it's these shin-guard looking things that inflate and deflate every 30 seconds or so to prevent blood clots. Turns out it's just the right interval to prevent any kind of sleep.

So yesterday was a truly sucky day-with the stress and the pregnancy hormones raging through me, I was weeping at EVERYTHING. Someone says something nice? Waterworks. Husband kisses me? Floods. Someone brings fresh ice water? Niagara Falls. I was a little bit more together today; we gotta go day by day around here. 

Last night I was wallowing in the thick of the crankiness and sorrow and self-pity, though. I had to stay up to take medicine and be poked and prodded, and I knew they would be back at 5AM, then the stupid shin-guard balloons and their tubes were all around and under me and being squeezy and I was whimpery in my selfish little mind. After a while, I had to shake myself and laugh a little; I'm here in a great hospital in a clean soft bed, I can move most of my parts, I have food to eat, no rival tribes or enemy armies are trying to kill me or my family, our baby is being given the best chance possible, and the list is endless. Yeah, my life is sooo rough. 

I think I went to sleep after that.

Tonight Hubby and Sweet Pea are sleeping over; Sweet Pea is apparently beyond excited. Apparently they were deciding what to put on the pull-out chairs to sleep in, and Sweet Pea rejected the sleeping bag because "we're not sleeping on the ground or the floor--it's like a bed, and a bed should have my comforter." Don't know where she gets that sleeping persnickityness...

Tomorrow brings an ultrasound, consult with a perinatologist, and possibly yet more icky tocolytics (things to stop labor). Wish us luck, 'cuz I'm scared of what they might see in the ultrasound. 

Be well, all.