oy.

So it's one step forward, a couple steps back...

Got up this AM to more bleeding. Hubby and I went BACK to the hospital. My Dr. fit me in right away, which was nice of her, and didn't make us go to labor and delivery-just checked me, said "we don't know what's up with the bleeding, but inside hasn't changed much, so we'll just monitor for a while to make sure the baby's OK". Funnypants looked fine on the heart monitor, and I wasn't having contractions, so home they sent us. 

I was OK for a while, but then tonight  I hit the Dread Moments of Despair. We've been aiming for 34 weeks for so long- then we hit it, and turns out it's not magical--we're still not done. Of course I knew that intellectually, and I know we need to keep going for as long as possible, but the Dread Moments came anyway. I am tired of bedrest, tired of asking people to do stuff, tired of being dependent, tired of having crises, tired of wondering if things are going to be OK. And maybe just a little tired, period. 

Oh, don't fret--this too shall pass. I've had these Moments of Despair a few times through this whole deal, and they go away; frankly I'm surprised I haven't had more. But in the moment, they suck. 

So. May YOUR day be free of Moments of Despair, or even Moments of Not Greatness. And mine too.